The Run 2 Remember community aims to offer you:
> a group of peers that motivates you to keep moving
> a safe place to remember and share your loss
> inspiration for trips, races & events that will spark your mind
> a place where comparing results or bragging about physical performance is not allowed
10 hours ago ·
I think of myself as a quite brave person: it isn’t for everybody to be able to leave everything behind (country, job, friends) to start all over again, and I did it twice.
But when it comes to speaking or writing about my mum (she passed about 10 years ago), well… I always feel so powerless I end up avoiding to even mention her at all.
So I haven’t though about my mum in years, if not occasionally, and I’ve always been very good to shut down those thoughts quickly, because the pain was too strong to handle, and I knew it.
In a way, I very cowardly thought that if I could “forget” her, in some way the pain would eventually fade away.
Well, it doesn’t work like that: the pain doesn’t go away, it just grows and grows, until it’s too big to be contained and it bursts out like a river after a heavy storm.
So this time I had to face that pain, I simply couldn’t avoid it. Sitting down with my pain made me realise why I don’t want to speak about my mum: I feel ashamed and full of guilt.
And upset with myself too. Because after seeing her fading away during three long years I couldn’t take anymore, so I secretly wished she would die, because it was too painful for me to see her that way.
To see my hero, the person I was admiring for her strength and determination, so thin and weak was killing me. I know I was just a kid, still it is hard to make peace with myself. Even now, after all these years.
I’m far from healing, but if there’s a lesson I learned is that pain is probably the strongest emotion with can possible feel, and if we avoid to address it, it can cause us more and more pain,
and drive our life away from all the good we can experience and give back to others too.
Facing pain is a great act of bravery, but as much it could seem hard, it is far harder to carry that pain inside yourself for years and let it consuming you slowly.
I’d like to thank Serge and Livia and all other members of Run2Remember, because they showed me another way to deal with loss and grief, while also honouring the memory of people we love.
To the next run.
Emanuele ... See MoreSee Less
3 days ago ·